I know i have been a little “24 happy” recently, but it’s only because its the best show on TV. Well i just got this in an e-mail and i couldn’t help but share it with all of you
- The reason why terrorists attacked New York City was because Jack
Bauer was in LA.
- You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
- Jack Bauer let the dogs out.
- If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and
he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Nina twice.
- Every time you masturbate Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not beacuase
you masurbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.
- If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Jack Bauer spared your
life.
- Colin Farrell smokes a pack of cigarettes a day. Jack Bauer smokes a
pack of terrorists anytime he feels like it.
- Deaf people listen to Jack bauer.
- Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer
killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
- Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real
fact.
- Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.
- Jack Bauer cannot stick his elbow in his ear, but he can stick your
elbow in your ear.
- Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next
half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
- 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair
fight.
- Osama bin Laden’s recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him
finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
- Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack
Bauer.
- If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
- Jack Bauer’s favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second
favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
- Jack Bauer doesn’t miss. If he didn’t hit you it’s because he was
shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
- Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
- If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a
bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
- Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
- The quickest way to a man’s heart is through Jack Bauer’s gun.
- Jack Bauer once told God he needed access, the event has since been
referred to as “The Big Bang.”
- Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right
now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
- When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
- When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists.
Jack Bauer frigging hates lemonade.
- Did you know there was a national disaster last night while you were
sleeping? Of course you didn’t, Jack Bauer was on duty.
- When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack
Bauer.
- Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
And if you watch the show, you can’t help but realize its all true!!
That is awesome.
Comment by eddie — 1/25/2006 @ 10:48 pm
Alot of them are new and very funny but, I recgonize a couple from the Chuck Norris list
I didnt write em i just posted em bc they were funny
Comment by Judah — 1/25/2006 @ 10:53 pm
Well this post at least was entertaining and something to which I whole heartedly agree. I thought for a moment I had reached Nazi’s Anonymous or the Facist’s Blog and News. But then I found a fellow 24 fan. I have been trying to get all of my friends to watch 24 for the last two years. It is an emormous thrill packed ride. ‘On the edge of your seat?’ you ask. So on the edge of the chair that I have now slid to the carpet on which I am closely digging into the padding. What fun. Superman without added powers. Just brilliance and guts and the conceit of repeated success. My friends keep saying “well I haven’t seen it from the beginning and I won’t know what’s going on!” Not true my friend. I was in a funk and turned it on while channel surfing my four commerical channels and at first I was put off by Kiefer Sutherland. I’ve never cared for his choice of parts and thereby was almost always bored with his films. When I turned back I was watching a Saudi Arabian, I believe and I must confess that racking my brain I have forgotten her country of origin. I am not someone who believes that all Middle Eastern or Northern African people look alike so please forgive me. She was married to a man who was a kingpin but the top notch in an attempt to cause complete melt down in every nuclear reactor in the United states. So many ‘white’ connected people had been bought off. Greed abounded and yet there was Jack Bauer moving first ten steps behind the terrorists then 8 until he was lock stepped right with them. I realized I hadn’t turned it off, even though I hadn’t seen the begining episode and I was crushed at the end which marked off the hour as being finished. It is worth watching and I’m not sure why you can come in in the middle of the plot and still know what is going on and really enjoy what you are watching. Its done with enough class that its not like the campy soap opera character wistfully remembering all that’s gone on in the last two months that has been so painful to endure. This overt catching up convention is part of the fun in watching soaps or so I’ve heard. (I cannot stand soaps. I find them stupid and boring)
If you haven’t seen 24, just try it once. Its on Monday Night at 9:00 PST and it airs on the Fox channel. Not FX now, plain old FOX. On Saturday I can catch past episodes that are running in sequence at 11:00 PM on FOX. Anyway Kindred spirit, I am more verbose a talker than I am a writer so please forgive my love of words. My spelling is atrocious(? I wish blogs had spell check) and I may not come across as I want to, but here it is. CHECK OUT 24. Each episode is one hour in Jack Bauer’s Life and its worth. I guarantee if you try it you won’t miss every again.
well, I guess i couldnt agree more. Although I am wondering if you work for Fox…..
Comment by missyanonamiss — 1/31/2006 @ 9:24 am
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